FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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