I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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