Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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