Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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