We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
