I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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