We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There r osticjed everywhere
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
