i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Operation Purity has been aborted
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
