Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
