I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
