You made me cry and you don't even care
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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