Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
