I think I won the penis lottery.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
