Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
