We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
