Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
