it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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