dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
