ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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