I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
