I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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