i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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