This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize