She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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