And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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