It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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