so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
