So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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