Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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