i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
