Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All the doctor said was why
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
