I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This girl is more easily done than said...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Girls should come with a carfax report
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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