so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
soo... how was my night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
