i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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