I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
