if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
