11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
