and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
