Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
