How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
