Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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