I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
