So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
