Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
