Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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