did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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