Will you blow on my dice?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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