Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
