East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
