I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he fucked my hip out of place.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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