I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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