dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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