I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
