How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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