there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
