Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize