When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
