This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
