just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
