Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The uberlube is also flammable
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
