I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
