she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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