i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
