Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
